Two Surprising Stories of Self Healing from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Photo Credit: Thomas Day Oates Jr., Washington State

During my 13-year saga with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I discovered a man who had recovered and was climbing alpine mountains. Thomas Day Oates Jr. came down with CFS/ME when he was 24 and spent the rest of his twenties in bed. By 30, he emerged a different person after a deeply healing experience.

Oates went on to make nature films for hospital patients and other vulnerable populations. Recently, at 56, he climbed Mount St. Helens—a round trip of 12 miles slogging through snow and ice! Like the mountains he photographs and ascends in the Pacific Northwest, his recovery is impressive.

I fell ill after a traumatic event followed by a virulent virus I caught overseas. I lost my career as a broadcast journalist and sank into a 13-year morass with CFS/ME. After pursuing everything I could in Western and Eastern medicine, my recovery came from the last person I consulted: myself.

Although Thomas and I walked different paths, our routes have parallels. We both, eventually, stopped trying to get back to our old lives and settled into an uncommon peace. Neither of us could work so why keep fighting? Like me, Thomas intentionally let go of stressful thoughts, which eat up energy like a hungry bear.

Call it acceptance, surrender or curiosity. It’s not giving up. We dropped things that sucked energy and followed what lit a tiny spark in us. For Thomas, it was photography. For me, it was poetry.

From this place, I discovered the pioneering work of mind-body visionaries Dr. John Sarno and Dr. Howard Schubiner. These physicians realized that many chronic symptoms are caused by the way our brains process stress and repress emotion.

They’re not referring to ailments like broken bones, cancer or autoimmune issues, which clearly have structural and pathological causes. They’re addressing modern day epidemics of chronic pain, fatigue, headaches, brain fog, anxiety and other neural pathway symptoms, which originate in the brain and manifest in the body.

There’s currently a resurgence of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Many people around the world with “long-haul Covid” are being diagnosed with CFS/ME, which often begins with a virus and becomes chronic.

It took me so long to recover because I was searching for a physical cure that didn’t exist. I didn’t yet understand my brain had learned the symptoms and I could retrain it. I came to realize the pivotal role fear plays in perpetuating fatigue, pain and insomnia. As I learned this knowledge, shifted my thoughts and felt underlying emotions, my vitality returned.

Thomas was a source of inspiration when I was scared and bedridden. Here’s snippets of a recent conversation we had through Facebook, email and phone. Each of us overcame something we were told was incurable. Our intention is to show that recovery is possible.

Thomas Day Oates Jr.

Congratulations Rebecca, You found your healing path and it's really beautiful.

Rebecca Tolin

Your messages that my healing was a certainty were reassuring along my way. I'm not sure if you ever tapped into Dr. John Sarno's work, but it was the absolute turning point for me.

Thomas Day Oates Jr.

I am not familiar with him but I agree with his approach. Fear creates illness and blocks all healing. Letting go of fear sounds simple enough but often is so hard to do. For me, it was figuring out how to engage my heart in a creative, joyful way that did not tax me and make me sick.

Rebecca Tolin

Yoga, meditation, poetry and nature transported me out of a fixation on my weary body and frenetic mind. The book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle had been my spiritual manual. Later, The MindBody Prescription by Dr. John Sarno and Unlearn Your Pain by Dr. Howard Schubiner became my healing guide books.

Their work helped me understand that I wasn't sick in my body. My brain was initiating the physical symptoms, which were 100% real but not harmful. This dramatically relaxed my fear response.

Sarno brilliantly explains that our brains create physical symptoms to protect us from overwhelming emotions. My symptoms began after a traumatic event and worsened through a series of stressful diagnoses and losses, including my inability to work or interact in the world.

Schubiner helped me understand that our brains get stuck in patterns of pain and fatigue through learned neural pathways, just as we recall how to ride a bike. Thanks to neuroplasticity, we can unlearn them. I began standing up to my fears, knowing I was rewiring my brain for well-being.

Thomas Day Oates Jr.

Rebecca, it’s hard to do but we must let go of fearful thoughts. Fear is not in the present. It’s only in the past and future.

Rebecca Tolin

I’d accrued stressful thoughts from navigating a medical maze. Well-meaning doctors said my immune system wasn’t working properly and that I was fragile. Sadly, I concluded I was weak, a belief that kept me stuck in that state for years. The placebo is often as strong as the medicine because of the power of our mind. The nocebo, a therapy in which a patient expects a harmful outcome, indeed brings that on.

I started letting go of thoughts that made me feel deflated and replaced them with ones like, “My body is safe. It knows how to heal. I am resilient.” It takes dedicated attention to choose thoughts that elicit strength. Then, it becomes a new normal.

Just as importantly, I learned to feel buried emotions. I stopped fighting my body and tuned into sensations and feelings with an open awareness. This somatic work shifted me out of freeze mode and thawed trauma. At times, I felt that I was interacting with the raw energy of the illness. I’d keep my attention lightly focused on sensations. They would shape shift or turn into emotions and oftentimes dissipate.

I challenged my triggers—doing things I wanted to do even though they brought on symptoms—while reminding myself I was safe and okay. This is how I retrained my brain over many months.

How did you begin expanding your energy envelope, Thomas?

Thomas Day Oates Jr.

After everything had been let go—my old life, friends, job, future wants of having a family, dreams of returning to my old life, past regrets, etc—I was sick in bed with a clean slate. My life had been wiped away. I was like a little child, an invalid watching the seasons go by.

My heart was free to do anything I wanted with the 15 minutes of good energy I had a day. I walked around the back yard taking pictures of the light on the trees and leaves. It was exhausting but doing heartfelt, in-the-moment, creative activity made me stronger. When I rested, the energy was replaced. It was like filling a glass with water. I increased joyful activities that made me stronger and decreased or eliminated everything that drained me.

Rebecca Tolin

I also found this to be key for my healing. I began writing poetry as a creative outlet. It started spontaneously on a silent retreat. The sounds and layers of language transported my mind beyond fatigue and pain. I was able to work through emotions and see a more expansive perspective. Nature also brought me into a sense of interconnectedness, even when I couldn’t hike. Meditation and yoga were daily companions that soothed me.

Thomas Day Oates Jr.

Photography was the light that illuminated my path. Looking through the lens focused my mind, body and attention in the present moment. The more I exhausted myself creating in the joyful present, the stronger I got. I also was very still and read uplifting and inspirational books like you. The book that flipped the switch for me was The Creation of Health by Caroline Myss.

We must let go of all thoughts that require tension to sustain them. It does not require work, only letting go, while filling the space with heartfelt, in-the-moment activity. Think art, writing, photography, painting. Even stillness and watching the seasons change works if that pulls you into the present. Man, once you have found that joyful path, just do it. Healing will follow in time.

Rebecca Tolin

I finally got off an exasperating roller coaster after pursuing everything from antiviral IVs to oil enemas, plus every supplement and diet imaginable. I let go of trying to get back to my old life.

I cannot tell you the exact moment but, like you, I fell into a state of grace. For over a year, I felt a sense of freedom. I was experiencing something boundless—beingness, presence, love. It is nameless.

I still had strong physical symptoms but I didn't care any longer. My mind wasn’t making them “problems.” This is when I truly understood how fear-based thoughts create suffering. Those thoughts generate emotions and when we hold them inside, they’re expressed as physical symptoms.

Thomas Day Oates Jr.

That’s it, Rebecca, the healing state of grace. Deep down it is what we all want. Once the slate has been cleared and there is complete surrender to where we are now and being “truly okay” with it, surrender meets peace. It took me four years of struggling before I began to really let go. I spent about six weeks in total radiant bliss. I saw everything as being made of light. Like you, I was still very ill, but I didn't care. I knew I had healed and it was just a matter of time before my body caught up.

Surrendering is not the same as giving up. When we let go of all thoughts and patterns that require tension and fear to sustain them, we fall into the healing state of grace. When the fog of fear lifts, it's like seeing a sunset for the first time.

Rebecca Tolin

I can relate to experiencing a sense of awe at being alive, no matter my state of health. This is when I realized that happiness is not tied to outer conditions, despite cultural myths. Do you still dip into that state of healing presence?

Thomas Day Oates Jr.

The short answer is no. The experience and emotional memory of it permeates every day though. My body is healthy. I am not sick. By this health measure, I am living more in harmony than not. I hear it in songs. I can recognize the rare artist; filmmakers, photographers, musicians, writers who have been there and who are now trying to wake us from the dream. After an exhausting slog up a glacier in the stillness with the sun rising, standing on alpenglo, I touch it.

Rebecca Tolin

Once you’ve experience a contentment beyond outer conditions, the essence stays with you. There’s also grief for the losses and it’s important to honor them. Overall, I experience more acceptance and harmony than before the illness. My work is enlivening, and I love helping others find inner healing.

Well-being is not just getting rid of symptoms. It’s ultimately about doing what engages us, brings us meaning and lights us up. What perpetuated Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is also what set me free—letting go of fear-based thoughts and behaviors; claiming a life that’s more empowering and true.

Thomas Day Oates Jr.

Illness is like a language for me. When I am sick, I listen to my body and life. Our spirit and therefore our lives are directed by the questions we ask. I start healing by figuring out what the dominant question is I am asking myself everyday. This helps me to understand where I have gone off track.

Rebecca Tolin

My questions have changed too. If I get symptoms, instead of asking, “what’s wrong with me physically?” I ask “what am I feeling emotionally?”

Our bodies speak in sensation. I become very present to my body sensations, without trying to change them or make them go away. Sometimes, an emotion will arise and I explore it with curiosity. It might get a message such as: set a boundary, stop pushing or give yourself more creative time.

It’s only been three years since my recovery but it’s been more than 25 years since you healed. How does it inform your life today?

Thomas Day Oates Jr.

The memory of that long illness influences my decisions on a deep level. I am more thoughtful and circumspect before making decisions. I am profoundly grateful for my health, and never take it for granted.

Rebecca Tolin

Although we have different paths, there’s common ground to healing: creating a sense of safety, letting go of fearful thoughts, feeling emotions and seeking what brings energy, relief, purpose and power. The inner shifts lead to outer shifts.

Look at you, Thomas, climbing snowy mountains!

Thomas Day Oates Jr.

I am incredibly thankful to have the energy and health to climb. The North Cascade Mountains are a hidden treasure of peace that push my health envelope and keep me on track.

As taxing as climbing can be, it's nothing compared to climbing out of the depths of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. You have climbed the Everest of chronic illness. The cool thing is Rebecca, once you have healed one chronic illness, you can heal others as well. It's really fun to see the doctor's expression after you have healed an "incurable" chronic illness.

Rebecca Tolin

Oh I know! I had one physician who responded with delight, and another that shook her head in disbelief. I am grateful to better understand when doctors can help me, and when I can help myself.

In my work, mind-body symptoms have the same cause and cure. Understanding this emerging science relaxes the nervous system so we can start living again. We do what we enjoy right now rather than waiting for a certain state of health.

There are no outer conditions that will make us happy anyway. We might as well find peace in this moment. It’s the only one we have.

Learn more about Rebecca’s How We Heal Chronic Pain & Fatigue course, starting May 4, 2021. The 10-week, on-line immersion covers knowledge and practices to heal from mind-body symptoms. Subscribe to Rebecca Tolin’s blog and enjoy a free somatic meditation here.

You can reach Thomas Day Oates Jr. through his website or Facebook page.